A Tribute to Scott

Yesterday was the three month mark since we had Scott with us. It seems like time goes fast yet at the same time it is still so long before I get to hold him and see him again. I often wonder what he would be like and look like.
Since I am always making random items for my etsy shop I find that every now and then I need a baby to pose for the pictures. Sometimes it is frustrating that I can't have my own baby to try my creations out for me. Then I think he probably would be really chubby and big and may not fit them.
It is very interesting to wonder what he would be like or what milestones he would be achieving. I think he would be a good calm baby. At least that is what most moms wish for. I also know he would probably have to defend himself from Summer as she would think his eyes are buttons to poke at.
This is a picture that Philip's mom gave to me when Scott died. Since it was three months yesterday I thought I would post pictures of them both wearing the same outfit. Philip was blessed in it, and Scott wore it when he was born for a bit as well as for his burial. It is very special that we still even had it.
We all love him and think of him all the time. Time can only heal a broken heart, but still the feelings of loss remain deep within. It is the comfort of family and friends, and of course the gospel that keeps us feeling more upbeat.

Hurricane Ike Part 2: After

So, we prepared as much as we could for Hurricane Ike to come. We lost power at 12:20am Saturday morning. The night was long and loud. When we woke up after a bad nights sleep, there was only a little water from the windows and doors downstairs to mop up, and a loss of one screen. The power of course did not come on again through the night.

Saturday morning we headed outside to see the damage around the complex. Mostly debris all over the place. We made our way over to the neighbor's to check on them. All the kiddos ended up playing in the rain and small pieces of roof that had blown off.
Conner, Jace, and Ellie loving the water and no power.

Summer in her rain clothes. Ready to play in Hurricane Ike aftermath.

A stop light hanging a few feet from the ground. I thought it was an interesting picture.

This is Highway 288 just below our townhouse complex. We are just to the right up the green grassy hill.

The other side of the bridge looking at Highway 288 headed downtown.

Our complex to the right.Ward efforts to help people near the church clean up their yards.
The roots of the huge tree our bishop is cutting down above. I think there were five trees like this just in one yard.The missionaries admiring the cut tree. This is as much as it could be cut by us. We did not have a chainsaw large enough for the rest.
Apparently Philip loves to climb trees.
Just a bit of the debris we cleaned up and placed along the side of the road.

We are so lucky to have little damage and to have only lost power and water for a few days. Our power finally turned on Monday night around 10:00pm. We are super thankful for power and air conditioning. Many others have sustained far more damage, and it will take the effort of so many of us to get things back together. I really can't complain because losing power for a few days is nothing compared to the devastation that others are facing. I am very blessed.

Hurricane Ike Part 1

So, since we are expecting hurricane Ike to pass through, we are trying to prepare as much as possible. Our zip code has not had a mandatory evacuation, so we are going to wait it out here. I don't think we really know what to expect from a hurricane being from the north parts. I assume it is like a really bad blizzard, but instead of snow covering our house it will be wind and water, and possibly debree. OK, it does sound worse than a blizzard. Some of our neighbors have boarded up their window, but for the mose part the rest are left as usual. The stores of course were crazy on Thursday, and again today. Very interesting to see, and also to see how many people have left things to the last minute. I think I prefer the blizzard. Maybe just because that is what I am use to.

Anyhow, I wanted to included some before and after pictures of the hurricane. The only before picture I really got was of Target all boarded up. I will try and include it later.

We are expecting to lose power for a couple of days, but hopefully that is the worse case for us. We will see. Luckily Philip was the ward emergency preparedness leader a while back. He finally got our family prepared with a 72 hour kit, and other food storage. Please don't wait until you receive this calling before you get yours.

I will give another update once the hurricane has passed. Until then, good luck to all in the storm's path.

Strengthed by Scriptures

The other night I was reading scriptures, and seeking comfort as I continued to think about Scott, and why our beautiful baby was chosen to leave us so soon. Although it has been over 11weeks now, my heart still feels empty from time to time. At times I can no longer fight the emotions that come with it either. While reading late at night I came to Alma 28:12,14. In this chapter we learn about one of the battles between the Lamanites and the Nephites. Thousands of people die and lay upon the ground. Of course the families mourn for the loss of their loved ones. Then came those verses saying,

"While many thousands of others truly mourn for the loss of their kindred, yet they rejoice and exult in the hope, and even know, according to the promises of the Lord, that they are raised to dwell at the right hand of God, in a state of never ending happiness...

And thus we see the great call of diligence of men to labor in the vineyards of the Lord; and thus we see the great reason of sorrow, and also of rejoicing- Sorrow because of death and destruction among men, and joy because of the light of Christ unto life."

This comforts me in knowing that it is normal and OK to mourn the loss of our loved ones, and times will be hard. It is also nice to know that it can also bring us peace and joy to know that our loved ones sit at the right hand of God, and because of Christ's atonement so can we. I KNOW this has to be true. Why would such a loving God give us the joy of a family if we could only enjoy them for the time here on this earth. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I once heard an anonymous quote, "Don't take away some one's hope, for it might be all that they have." Hope is so nice and such a blessing, but beyond hope, we have been given a promise by the Lord. I am so thankful I read my scriptures that night because I might not have noticed it any other time, and to me these verses give comfort.

Happy Times

This week has been very busy and crazy. After it all and given time to rest and relax, I came back to thinking of my son Scott who is always on my mind. It is nice to go from busy busy, to moments when I can sit and reflect and ponder life. Thinking of him and looking at pictures of my two children who I adore bring me peace and comfort.

My dad decided to surprise us and come to visit. The last time we saw my dad was exactly three years ago when Summer was only a few months old. It was definitely nice to see him, and we had some catching up to do. It has always been an interesting experience when visiting with my dad, and this was no exception. Summer called him Grandpa Cruz. This was funny to us because my dad asked us when he saw her the first time as a baby if she could call him uncle. I think my dad was just in denial about the fact that he is now the grandpa and the one who should be settling down a bit. Anyhow, he seemed weirded out at first, but I think he has accepted the idea now. He stayed for four days, and we had many memorable experiences. One of which was meeting with the missionaries. My dad has been reading the Bible a lot lately, and it seems to have done some good for him. If anything, I just wanted it to be an experience that would make him think even more about his life. It was good to see him, and we will miss him.


Also in the last couple of weeks I have been sewing in my bedroom for extra light. Also this makes it nice because the mess is upstairs and not in our living room where it is seen by all. Bless Philip's heart for being so kind and supportive of my messy hobbies. He really likes things tidy, so I am sure it is hard for him to resist cleaning it all up. In the end he is happy to see my creations. This is the latest project I have finished for Summer to wear around church. A shirt and a skirt. I made a pattern for the shirt so it will be easier to make a second time. I hope to make one for my etsy shop. Anyhow, that is my crazy life in a nutshell.

The Mud Puddle

So, as many of you know I have been wanting to open a shop on Etsy.com for some time now. I have so many random craft ideas racking my brain. Finally I can now start selling them to people all over. At least I hope I do. The shop only has a few smaller items listed until I can figure out shipping on the larger ones. I think this is a great opportunity for me to share my hobby with others.

The Mud Puddle will consist of random crafts from small bows to home decor craft items. It all depends upon the interest I am having at the time. I have so many ideas, but I know I need to pace myself and see how the shop does before I go ahead and make a ton of stuff. Anyhow, feel free to check it out at http://www.themudpuddle.etsy.com/ The favorites section off to the right in my shop is just a bunch of shops that I really like, along with items I would love to have. Also the etsy mini on the side of my blog gives you an idea of what is in my shop. Hope you check it out sometime.

Remembering Moments

Yesterday was a day that I just could not stop thinking about Scott. I kept thinking of the experiences with him trying to remember every feeling and moment with him. Sometimes I feel like I am forgetting exactly what it was like to be holding him and smelling him. I picture it in my mind and think back to that day, but it is just not the same as actually holding him. I am so worried at times that I am going to forget something about him. That is the last thing I want to do, so I am constantly thinking of him and reminding myself of how it was and will be.

I have to thank the Scott's for a very special DVD they made for us with several pictures and memories of Scott at the hospital. They did such a nice job with music and everything, that even on a good day it makes me cry. I watched it a couple times last night. It really helps to have something special like that to help me feel like I am in the moment again. This is why I am so grateful for the DVD and other items of memorabilia that we have. It helps to make me feel closer to him. I just can't wait to hold him again, because it will be so nice. I don't know what is better than holding our children as much as we can. They need it too.