Yesterday was a day that I just could not stop thinking about Scott. I kept thinking of the experiences with him trying to remember every feeling and moment with him. Sometimes I feel like I am forgetting exactly what it was like to be holding him and smelling him. I picture it in my mind and think back to that day, but it is just not the same as actually holding him. I am so worried at times that I am going to forget something about him. That is the last thing I want to do, so I am constantly thinking of him and reminding myself of how it was and will be.
I have to thank the Scott's for a very special DVD they made for us with several pictures and memories of Scott at the hospital. They did such a nice job with music and everything, that even on a good day it makes me cry. I watched it a couple times last night. It really helps to have something special like that to help me feel like I am in the moment again. This is why I am so grateful for the DVD and other items of memorabilia that we have. It helps to make me feel closer to him. I just can't wait to hold him again, because it will be so nice. I don't know what is better than holding our children as much as we can. They need it too.