Sunday, August 3, 2008

Remembering Moments

Yesterday was a day that I just could not stop thinking about Scott. I kept thinking of the experiences with him trying to remember every feeling and moment with him. Sometimes I feel like I am forgetting exactly what it was like to be holding him and smelling him. I picture it in my mind and think back to that day, but it is just not the same as actually holding him. I am so worried at times that I am going to forget something about him. That is the last thing I want to do, so I am constantly thinking of him and reminding myself of how it was and will be.

I have to thank the Scott's for a very special DVD they made for us with several pictures and memories of Scott at the hospital. They did such a nice job with music and everything, that even on a good day it makes me cry. I watched it a couple times last night. It really helps to have something special like that to help me feel like I am in the moment again. This is why I am so grateful for the DVD and other items of memorabilia that we have. It helps to make me feel closer to him. I just can't wait to hold him again, because it will be so nice. I don't know what is better than holding our children as much as we can. They need it too.


Jen said...

I just wanted to let you know I Love You. I wish there was some way to ease your pain and make it easier.
I appreciate your willingness to share, it makes me feel like I can understand (even though I might not).
Keep being positive and things will get easier over time.
Love ya,

Marcy M Miller said...

I can't imagine what you are going through, I would feel the same way as you, trying to remember and not wanting to forget. That is so sweet of your friends to make a video of him.

The Hamm Bunch said...

Tender Mercies - I thought of your family when this was shared in our Elders Quorum. Chapter 14 of Teaching of JS. This is inspiring to me as a father.

"Mary Isabella Horne and Leonora Cannon Taylor each lost a young child in death. Sister Horne recalled that the Prophet Joseph Smith gave the two sisters these words of comfort: “He told us that we should receive those children in the morning of the resurrection just as we laid them down, in purity and innocence, and we should nourish and care for them as their mothers. He said that children would be raised in the resurrection just as they were laid down, and that they would obtain all the intelligence necessary to occupy thrones, principalities and powers.”9 "

(“Chapter 14: Words of Hope and Consolation at the Time of Death,” Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith, (2007),171–81)

Robb Hamm