Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Hospital Room

So lately I have been keeping myself very busy making crafts. I have allowed myself to get so busy with them that I can go a several days before I take step back and give myself a break.

We decided to clean the carpets on Saturday, and I was forced to put all my junk away for the weekend. Now that I have had a few days break from crafting my thoughts have turned again to my life. I know most of my post include my family and especially experiences with my son. I just can't help it, so please bare with me.

Since our experience with Scott back in June I have had this weird desire. On several occasions I have wanted to go back and sit in room 365 of the Texas Women's Hospital. It is an interesting desire, but every time I think of it I get a little emotional and think it would help. Maybe someday I will actually go and sit there to ponder or something.

For me it is interesting that I can be so busy that I keep from really getting emotional, and then as soon as I stop for a couple of days it is back. I suppose this is the roller coaster that I am told I will probably have. I am grateful for it though, because it helps me not to forget those special moments and feelings I had with Scott and my family during that time.

It is nice to have Summer around to keep me entertained and happy with her sweet spirit. I love both of my children so much. What a blessing.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

A Tribute to Scott

Yesterday was the three month mark since we had Scott with us. It seems like time goes fast yet at the same time it is still so long before I get to hold him and see him again. I often wonder what he would be like and look like.
Since I am always making random items for my etsy shop I find that every now and then I need a baby to pose for the pictures. Sometimes it is frustrating that I can't have my own baby to try my creations out for me. Then I think he probably would be really chubby and big and may not fit them.
It is very interesting to wonder what he would be like or what milestones he would be achieving. I think he would be a good calm baby. At least that is what most moms wish for. I also know he would probably have to defend himself from Summer as she would think his eyes are buttons to poke at.
This is a picture that Philip's mom gave to me when Scott died. Since it was three months yesterday I thought I would post pictures of them both wearing the same outfit. Philip was blessed in it, and Scott wore it when he was born for a bit as well as for his burial. It is very special that we still even had it.
We all love him and think of him all the time. Time can only heal a broken heart, but still the feelings of loss remain deep within. It is the comfort of family and friends, and of course the gospel that keeps us feeling more upbeat.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Hurricane Ike Part 2: After

So, we prepared as much as we could for Hurricane Ike to come. We lost power at 12:20am Saturday morning. The night was long and loud. When we woke up after a bad nights sleep, there was only a little water from the windows and doors downstairs to mop up, and a loss of one screen. The power of course did not come on again through the night.

Saturday morning we headed outside to see the damage around the complex. Mostly debris all over the place. We made our way over to the neighbor's to check on them. All the kiddos ended up playing in the rain and small pieces of roof that had blown off.
Conner, Jace, and Ellie loving the water and no power.

Summer in her rain clothes. Ready to play in Hurricane Ike aftermath.

A stop light hanging a few feet from the ground. I thought it was an interesting picture.

This is Highway 288 just below our townhouse complex. We are just to the right up the green grassy hill.

The other side of the bridge looking at Highway 288 headed downtown.

Our complex to the right.Ward efforts to help people near the church clean up their yards.
The roots of the huge tree our bishop is cutting down above. I think there were five trees like this just in one yard.The missionaries admiring the cut tree. This is as much as it could be cut by us. We did not have a chainsaw large enough for the rest.
Apparently Philip loves to climb trees.
Just a bit of the debris we cleaned up and placed along the side of the road.

We are so lucky to have little damage and to have only lost power and water for a few days. Our power finally turned on Monday night around 10:00pm. We are super thankful for power and air conditioning. Many others have sustained far more damage, and it will take the effort of so many of us to get things back together. I really can't complain because losing power for a few days is nothing compared to the devastation that others are facing. I am very blessed.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Hurricane Ike Part 1

So, since we are expecting hurricane Ike to pass through, we are trying to prepare as much as possible. Our zip code has not had a mandatory evacuation, so we are going to wait it out here. I don't think we really know what to expect from a hurricane being from the north parts. I assume it is like a really bad blizzard, but instead of snow covering our house it will be wind and water, and possibly debree. OK, it does sound worse than a blizzard. Some of our neighbors have boarded up their window, but for the mose part the rest are left as usual. The stores of course were crazy on Thursday, and again today. Very interesting to see, and also to see how many people have left things to the last minute. I think I prefer the blizzard. Maybe just because that is what I am use to.

Anyhow, I wanted to included some before and after pictures of the hurricane. The only before picture I really got was of Target all boarded up. I will try and include it later.

We are expecting to lose power for a couple of days, but hopefully that is the worse case for us. We will see. Luckily Philip was the ward emergency preparedness leader a while back. He finally got our family prepared with a 72 hour kit, and other food storage. Please don't wait until you receive this calling before you get yours.

I will give another update once the hurricane has passed. Until then, good luck to all in the storm's path.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Strengthed by Scriptures

The other night I was reading scriptures, and seeking comfort as I continued to think about Scott, and why our beautiful baby was chosen to leave us so soon. Although it has been over 11weeks now, my heart still feels empty from time to time. At times I can no longer fight the emotions that come with it either. While reading late at night I came to Alma 28:12,14. In this chapter we learn about one of the battles between the Lamanites and the Nephites. Thousands of people die and lay upon the ground. Of course the families mourn for the loss of their loved ones. Then came those verses saying,

"While many thousands of others truly mourn for the loss of their kindred, yet they rejoice and exult in the hope, and even know, according to the promises of the Lord, that they are raised to dwell at the right hand of God, in a state of never ending happiness...

And thus we see the great call of diligence of men to labor in the vineyards of the Lord; and thus we see the great reason of sorrow, and also of rejoicing- Sorrow because of death and destruction among men, and joy because of the light of Christ unto life."

This comforts me in knowing that it is normal and OK to mourn the loss of our loved ones, and times will be hard. It is also nice to know that it can also bring us peace and joy to know that our loved ones sit at the right hand of God, and because of Christ's atonement so can we. I KNOW this has to be true. Why would such a loving God give us the joy of a family if we could only enjoy them for the time here on this earth. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I once heard an anonymous quote, "Don't take away some one's hope, for it might be all that they have." Hope is so nice and such a blessing, but beyond hope, we have been given a promise by the Lord. I am so thankful I read my scriptures that night because I might not have noticed it any other time, and to me these verses give comfort.