Where to Begin?

The last six weeks have come and gone so fast. It seems like it was not that long ago that we were getting ready to go to the hospital to have Scott. The time was of the essence then, but now seems as though it were not long enough. I constantly try to really remind myself of those 9 hours in the hospital and the 1st week after Scott was born. I don't want to forget. It all happened so fast that I wish I could go back and change how we did some things. However, I don't think anyone can fully prepare for an experience such as this. I am just so happy we did have some great moments together.

We have all been keeping busy, which is good. I have been working on craft projects to get an Etsy shop going online. It is enjoyable and gives me something to do to keep myself from getting so bored. I will keep updated and let everyone know once I have the shop open. Finding a name has been the difficult part.

Summer is doing well. As a surprise to me she actually remembers Scott more than I thought she would. I think she does miss him because she talks about him everyday. She asks me if I miss him too. At the grocery store the other day she was talking about her brother and asked where heaven is. She will also see pictures of him and talk to him or sing songs. She likes to sing twinkle twinkle little star because Scott is wearing a hat with stars in one of the pictures. I know she loves him and wishes he were here too, but children just seem to be happy either way.

She started swimming lessons on Monday and that has been fun for her even though she doesn't do too much. Anyone who knows her well enough would know that she is very shy. She will not even sit on the steps of the pool with George her instructor unless Lyn a friend of mine or myself sits right beside her. She has been making progress each day going in further and further. Maybe by the last day she will actually acknowledge George and get in the water with him.

Philip stays busy at work. Since most of his time is spent at work, when he is home he enjoys just being with the family. He has been working on this CD for my birthday, and as used three nights to get it ready only to have our computer not work. It just won't burn the CD for some reason, so he was really disappointed. I told him it is the thought that counts just like the dandelions he picked for me because we really could not afford flowers our first year on my birthday.

With being busy at work and with other things Philip doesn't think too much about Scott during the week. This makes it harder for him on the weekend during his down time. He finds himself thinking of Scott more and more and wishing he were here to hold. The mourning is still evident in both of us. It will definitely be a rollercoaster for a while. For me each day becomes better with a few bumps, but better nonetheless.