It has now been 7 months since Scott was born. Hopefully some of you don't get sick of these posts, but it seems to help me a little.
Around this same time last year we had just come back from Christmas vacation and then celebrated Philip's birthday. It must have been about a week or so later that I went to the doctor and found out that Scott had Anencephaly. I had never even heard of it before and could not believe this was happening to me. Of course who really ever thinks something like that will happen and completely change life.
It really was not a hard decision for us to continue with the pregnancy, and let him just grow for as long as he could. Oh how thankful I am that we did because he was so beautiful and so special. He truly is a blessing in heaven. I would give anything just to feel him and hold him right now. My biggest fear is that I am going to forget what it was like to actually be holding him. We have a very short video clip of him that I wish was the whole 9 hours of his life, but it at least it is something. The many pictures we were lucky enough to take are helpful too.
I have this picture of Scott and Summer as my desktop background. The more I look at both of them together I see more similarities. They really would have looked like each other, as siblings usually do. It is just great to think of I guess, and to remember that she is not my only child, but I have two. They are both so amazing to me and great examples.
Around this same time last year we had just come back from Christmas vacation and then celebrated Philip's birthday. It must have been about a week or so later that I went to the doctor and found out that Scott had Anencephaly. I had never even heard of it before and could not believe this was happening to me. Of course who really ever thinks something like that will happen and completely change life.
It really was not a hard decision for us to continue with the pregnancy, and let him just grow for as long as he could. Oh how thankful I am that we did because he was so beautiful and so special. He truly is a blessing in heaven. I would give anything just to feel him and hold him right now. My biggest fear is that I am going to forget what it was like to actually be holding him. We have a very short video clip of him that I wish was the whole 9 hours of his life, but it at least it is something. The many pictures we were lucky enough to take are helpful too.
I have this picture of Scott and Summer as my desktop background. The more I look at both of them together I see more similarities. They really would have looked like each other, as siblings usually do. It is just great to think of I guess, and to remember that she is not my only child, but I have two. They are both so amazing to me and great examples.
Although this part of our life's journey is a very difficult one, somehow we have also seen many blessings come. Our experience has completely changed our perspective, along with many other aspects of life. He really has been a blessing to us.
7 comments:
I don't get sick of these posts. I know it was and still is a hard thing to deal with. I hope things are going well though. I love that picture you posted...
Melissa, you're amazing.
I like reading your blog. Thanks for sharing everything.
That is my favorite picture....please keep posting! He truly is a blessing and I know that you will always remember him and those precious moments you shared.
Melissa,
Thank you for sharing your thought. I always love your posts.
I read a blog post today:
http://thebleedingear.blogspot.com/2009/01/now-i-lay-me-down-to-sleep.html
and thought you might find it interesting. It is the first time I've heard about this NGO. What a sweet service to comfort families!
I love reading your posts about Scott. It's a good way to talk about your emotions. He is a beautiful baby.
your posts always strengthen me spiritually. i wish we lived closer together so our families could hang out:)
Melissa, You are beautiful and your family is so beautiful! I love you all.
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