Hurricane Ike Part 1

So, since we are expecting hurricane Ike to pass through, we are trying to prepare as much as possible. Our zip code has not had a mandatory evacuation, so we are going to wait it out here. I don't think we really know what to expect from a hurricane being from the north parts. I assume it is like a really bad blizzard, but instead of snow covering our house it will be wind and water, and possibly debree. OK, it does sound worse than a blizzard. Some of our neighbors have boarded up their window, but for the mose part the rest are left as usual. The stores of course were crazy on Thursday, and again today. Very interesting to see, and also to see how many people have left things to the last minute. I think I prefer the blizzard. Maybe just because that is what I am use to.

Anyhow, I wanted to included some before and after pictures of the hurricane. The only before picture I really got was of Target all boarded up. I will try and include it later.

We are expecting to lose power for a couple of days, but hopefully that is the worse case for us. We will see. Luckily Philip was the ward emergency preparedness leader a while back. He finally got our family prepared with a 72 hour kit, and other food storage. Please don't wait until you receive this calling before you get yours.

I will give another update once the hurricane has passed. Until then, good luck to all in the storm's path.

Strengthed by Scriptures

The other night I was reading scriptures, and seeking comfort as I continued to think about Scott, and why our beautiful baby was chosen to leave us so soon. Although it has been over 11weeks now, my heart still feels empty from time to time. At times I can no longer fight the emotions that come with it either. While reading late at night I came to Alma 28:12,14. In this chapter we learn about one of the battles between the Lamanites and the Nephites. Thousands of people die and lay upon the ground. Of course the families mourn for the loss of their loved ones. Then came those verses saying,

"While many thousands of others truly mourn for the loss of their kindred, yet they rejoice and exult in the hope, and even know, according to the promises of the Lord, that they are raised to dwell at the right hand of God, in a state of never ending happiness...

And thus we see the great call of diligence of men to labor in the vineyards of the Lord; and thus we see the great reason of sorrow, and also of rejoicing- Sorrow because of death and destruction among men, and joy because of the light of Christ unto life."

This comforts me in knowing that it is normal and OK to mourn the loss of our loved ones, and times will be hard. It is also nice to know that it can also bring us peace and joy to know that our loved ones sit at the right hand of God, and because of Christ's atonement so can we. I KNOW this has to be true. Why would such a loving God give us the joy of a family if we could only enjoy them for the time here on this earth. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I once heard an anonymous quote, "Don't take away some one's hope, for it might be all that they have." Hope is so nice and such a blessing, but beyond hope, we have been given a promise by the Lord. I am so thankful I read my scriptures that night because I might not have noticed it any other time, and to me these verses give comfort.

Happy Times

This week has been very busy and crazy. After it all and given time to rest and relax, I came back to thinking of my son Scott who is always on my mind. It is nice to go from busy busy, to moments when I can sit and reflect and ponder life. Thinking of him and looking at pictures of my two children who I adore bring me peace and comfort.

My dad decided to surprise us and come to visit. The last time we saw my dad was exactly three years ago when Summer was only a few months old. It was definitely nice to see him, and we had some catching up to do. It has always been an interesting experience when visiting with my dad, and this was no exception. Summer called him Grandpa Cruz. This was funny to us because my dad asked us when he saw her the first time as a baby if she could call him uncle. I think my dad was just in denial about the fact that he is now the grandpa and the one who should be settling down a bit. Anyhow, he seemed weirded out at first, but I think he has accepted the idea now. He stayed for four days, and we had many memorable experiences. One of which was meeting with the missionaries. My dad has been reading the Bible a lot lately, and it seems to have done some good for him. If anything, I just wanted it to be an experience that would make him think even more about his life. It was good to see him, and we will miss him.


Also in the last couple of weeks I have been sewing in my bedroom for extra light. Also this makes it nice because the mess is upstairs and not in our living room where it is seen by all. Bless Philip's heart for being so kind and supportive of my messy hobbies. He really likes things tidy, so I am sure it is hard for him to resist cleaning it all up. In the end he is happy to see my creations. This is the latest project I have finished for Summer to wear around church. A shirt and a skirt. I made a pattern for the shirt so it will be easier to make a second time. I hope to make one for my etsy shop. Anyhow, that is my crazy life in a nutshell.

The Mud Puddle

So, as many of you know I have been wanting to open a shop on Etsy.com for some time now. I have so many random craft ideas racking my brain. Finally I can now start selling them to people all over. At least I hope I do. The shop only has a few smaller items listed until I can figure out shipping on the larger ones. I think this is a great opportunity for me to share my hobby with others.

The Mud Puddle will consist of random crafts from small bows to home decor craft items. It all depends upon the interest I am having at the time. I have so many ideas, but I know I need to pace myself and see how the shop does before I go ahead and make a ton of stuff. Anyhow, feel free to check it out at http://www.themudpuddle.etsy.com/ The favorites section off to the right in my shop is just a bunch of shops that I really like, along with items I would love to have. Also the etsy mini on the side of my blog gives you an idea of what is in my shop. Hope you check it out sometime.

Remembering Moments

Yesterday was a day that I just could not stop thinking about Scott. I kept thinking of the experiences with him trying to remember every feeling and moment with him. Sometimes I feel like I am forgetting exactly what it was like to be holding him and smelling him. I picture it in my mind and think back to that day, but it is just not the same as actually holding him. I am so worried at times that I am going to forget something about him. That is the last thing I want to do, so I am constantly thinking of him and reminding myself of how it was and will be.

I have to thank the Scott's for a very special DVD they made for us with several pictures and memories of Scott at the hospital. They did such a nice job with music and everything, that even on a good day it makes me cry. I watched it a couple times last night. It really helps to have something special like that to help me feel like I am in the moment again. This is why I am so grateful for the DVD and other items of memorabilia that we have. It helps to make me feel closer to him. I just can't wait to hold him again, because it will be so nice. I don't know what is better than holding our children as much as we can. They need it too.

Where to Begin?

The last six weeks have come and gone so fast. It seems like it was not that long ago that we were getting ready to go to the hospital to have Scott. The time was of the essence then, but now seems as though it were not long enough. I constantly try to really remind myself of those 9 hours in the hospital and the 1st week after Scott was born. I don't want to forget. It all happened so fast that I wish I could go back and change how we did some things. However, I don't think anyone can fully prepare for an experience such as this. I am just so happy we did have some great moments together.

We have all been keeping busy, which is good. I have been working on craft projects to get an Etsy shop going online. It is enjoyable and gives me something to do to keep myself from getting so bored. I will keep updated and let everyone know once I have the shop open. Finding a name has been the difficult part.

Summer is doing well. As a surprise to me she actually remembers Scott more than I thought she would. I think she does miss him because she talks about him everyday. She asks me if I miss him too. At the grocery store the other day she was talking about her brother and asked where heaven is. She will also see pictures of him and talk to him or sing songs. She likes to sing twinkle twinkle little star because Scott is wearing a hat with stars in one of the pictures. I know she loves him and wishes he were here too, but children just seem to be happy either way.

She started swimming lessons on Monday and that has been fun for her even though she doesn't do too much. Anyone who knows her well enough would know that she is very shy. She will not even sit on the steps of the pool with George her instructor unless Lyn a friend of mine or myself sits right beside her. She has been making progress each day going in further and further. Maybe by the last day she will actually acknowledge George and get in the water with him.

Philip stays busy at work. Since most of his time is spent at work, when he is home he enjoys just being with the family. He has been working on this CD for my birthday, and as used three nights to get it ready only to have our computer not work. It just won't burn the CD for some reason, so he was really disappointed. I told him it is the thought that counts just like the dandelions he picked for me because we really could not afford flowers our first year on my birthday.

With being busy at work and with other things Philip doesn't think too much about Scott during the week. This makes it harder for him on the weekend during his down time. He finds himself thinking of Scott more and more and wishing he were here to hold. The mourning is still evident in both of us. It will definitely be a rollercoaster for a while. For me each day becomes better with a few bumps, but better nonetheless.

Missing My Scott

Today marks the one month birthday for our precious baby Scott. I wish so badly that I could just hold him right now and celebrate it with him. The hardest part for me is still having the need to nurture and hold my baby. I guess it is just motherly instinct that comes with being pregnant for so long and having a baby.

I seek comfort through prayers and being with my friends and family a lot. I think now I am inspired by an old roommate who recently lost her little boy to read more. I think searching the scriptures and talks can also bring great comfort. Philip and Summer have boost my spirits several times when I am feeling sad. Little Summer comes to me and asks me if I am missing Scott. She then holds me and pats my back and says its OK. What would I do without her.

If Scott could hear me, which I think he can, I would want him to know how much I love him . I would tell him how proud I am of him that he was so strong and courageous to accept such a short time her on earth. I would say to him that he gave us the best 9 hours he possibly could have, and I am so thankful he allowed us to get to know him a little bit. I would tell him that I miss his hands and feet, and kissing him on the cheeks. Really, I would not be able to stop talking to him, but I would want him to know that I can't wait to hold him again. I know I will get to, just not as soon as I would like.

Scott is an inspiration to me to live a better life. I am sure he is happy to be a part of our family. I have learned so much over the course of the last 6 months, and especially the last month. I am still learning and growing from this special and difficult experience. I await the day I can at last hold my precious little one again. For now I will hold on to the time I did have with him and the memories that were left of him. That will raise my spirit to know he is real and that he will be just as real and special when we see him again.